#The ice pirates 2005 movie review movie
#The ice pirates 2005 movie review full

#The ice pirates 2005 movie review movie

This little action sequence is probably the best in the movie despite being very brief. I always liked this part when I was a kid, I think it was that Mad Max-esque battering ram with huge wheels. For some reason desert terrain always looks good on camera, it always looks authentic and suits fantasy films perfectly. Its actually one of the more interesting looking locations, just a shame we don't spend much time there. Well don't fret because of course this movie has one of those. One potential buyer even comments on a slaves lunchbox, but surely they shouldn't have lunchboxes?ДЄnyway what space fantasy is complete without a generic desert planet or desert scene. They go through the process of having their balls cut off (and a lobotomy as well apparently), and come out afterwards with white hair and eyebrows? I guess the shock of having your balls bitten off by a steel trap could be the reason why your hair turns white but when they are all lined up to be inspected (in white lycra catsuits) its quite clear that these eunuchs still have a lunchbox. I didn't really get the whole eunuch slave thing.

And yes in one sequence it is shown that the Templars turn prisoners into slaves by cutting of their balls with a set of robotic steel jaws. In one of the more shocking sequences the sexy female pirate (Maida, Anjelica Houston) gets into a sword fight with some bounty hunter fellow and cuts his head off! Its actually quite unexpected and there are no cuts, you see it come right off. One of the pirates (Zeno, Ron Perlman) loses his hand early on. There is a very wet and somewhat in depth softcore sex scene.There are a few scenes of people losing limbs complete with blood.

Let me be clear, this isn't an R/18 rated type movie, but it has fun bits for the adults. OK sure there are lots of childish elements like the various silly robots, the slapstick etc.But this movie does have some moments of violence, gore, sex and umm.castration. Now despite how the movie may come across with its obvious similarities to other space set fantasies in its poster and trailer, this movie isn't really for kids.

#The ice pirates 2005 movie review full

Yep the Templar foot soldiers (on-board ships) appear to wear medieval knight attire such as full body chain mail etc. Interestingly they also throw in some medieval fashions in there too. On the other hand shiny uniforms and ships (basically Mad Max and Star Wars). On one hand a shabby, used and weather beaten universe. This whole pirate look is blended in with the more typically cliched futuristic sci-fi look. The heroes literally steal ice, and they are all literally pirates complete with cutlasses, wide belts with big fat belt buckles, cavalier type boots, and poet shirts with lacing down the front. The movies title isn't just there to look and sound cool. OK so the first thing I have to point out is, this is quite literally a film about pirates in space. On their tail are the Templars who do not want this secret being discovered. So the Princess hires the pirates to find her father and hopefully the watery planet. In turn they also discover that this Princesses father is thought to have discovered a planet with water, thing is he has also disappeared. One such band of pirates (led by Jason, Robert Urich) stumble across a Princess whilst trying to pinch the watery cargo from one Templar ship. But as expected there are space pirates that battle the Templars for their control of the water. And of course they want to keep it this way ensuring their dominance over the galaxy. Naturally only one planet is not affected by this, Mithra, home of the evil Templars. In fact H20 is so valuable that its actually used as a form of currency in ice cube form. The plot takes place in the distant future, presumably in a galaxy far far away, where water has become an extremely scarce and valuable resource (not too original eh). This long forgotten oddity is what you might call a very light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek Star Wars knock-off. The answer to that is of course an absolute multitude of knock-off's, clones, wannabes and homages. Oh George Lucas, what did you bring upon us with your earth-shattering movie of 1977.